Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
