Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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