There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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