Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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