I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
