You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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