I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
