im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
