You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
the raccoons are back...
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