I would go down on you faster than GM stock
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Every concussion has its silver lining
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
