And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
