the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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