god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
