so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
