Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
