ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
