I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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