Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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