Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
