it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize