hell yes lets make some ravioli
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
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forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
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So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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