So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
