I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
