Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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