I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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