so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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