She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
