Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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