I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
