Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
