I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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