What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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