just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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