i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
