Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
