My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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