There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i dont even know how to be here
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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