Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
