i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
