dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
