in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
