He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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