We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
