Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
