Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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