I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
