one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
