I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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