I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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