Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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