Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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