she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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