Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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