super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
