One girl and one boy is just not enough.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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