Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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