were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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