ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
