Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
