I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
