How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!