Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?