if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.