I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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