Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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