Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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