Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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