In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
