I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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