I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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