There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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