I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
